Let me just say that as an RN for about 32 years, I have seen, smelled, heard and felt just about the worst of whatever it is you could imagine. Twenty years as a large city ER nurse. I have stories that I can regale over a gourmet dinner with other health care workers that would make the average human roll over into a dead faint. Not bragging - it is what it is. I imagine that it's this distance of sorts that allows health care folks to function, as our jobs require us to. Anyway, I do have an cast iron stomach and nerves of steel if I am thrown into a 'situation'. So that brings me to yesterday, when I traveled to my appointment at the Travel Clinic to consult with a certified travel, immunization and infectious disease MD specialist. I received my combo hepatitis A and B shot, along with a typhus shot and tetanus shot. Since the areas of Costa Rica I'll be in do not have malaria, I don't need to take the treatment. Which I have to admit does make me a little nervous, first of all, because Costa Rica is about the size of Vermont and how does the malaria-bearing mosquito know which areas he is in and which he is not supposed to be in. And second of all, if there is any kind of bug in the vicinity, it will bite me, not the hundreds of others in the near vicinity. This is a proven fact. When I explained this to the MD, she advised that I, along with the usual precautions , look into a clothing line called Buzz Off, which is permeated with insecticide, guaranteed thru at least 6 washings. After she explained the other Costa Rican hazards, rabies ( she was unable to give me the recommended rabies vaccination as there is a nationwide shortage - ??? OK) but reminded me to stay away from monkeys. Like that would be a problem. She explained dengue fever, leptospirosis, leishmaniasis, Chagas disease and traveler's diarrhea, all of which are a significant health risk in Costa Rica. For this traveler, diarrhea is usually the only health concern when I plan a vacation, easily diagnosed and easily cured. I do not like the thought of bugs or worms attaching to the soles of my feet, without my knowledge and burrowing their way to kingdom come. Only for me to find out weeks later when I display symptoms similar to the flu and the docs can only scratch their heads and dig out their dusty tomes titled "Microscopic Flat Worms Found in Costa Rica That Attach to The Soles of Unaware Tourists and Which Subsequently Have The Causative Effect Of Noses Falling Off."
Is it too late to opt out of claiming this prize?
The paramedics once brought us a down on his luck fellow who had been sleeping off a hangover on a garbage pile. He apparently always lay his head on the same side. This had been his habit for some time. By the time they brought him in, maggots had hatched and burrowed past his tympanic membrane, further delving into his ear canal. In addition, the skin on the side of his head, that he lay on, had broken down, providing flies a nice warm place to lay eggs. So maggots were squirming on the side of his head in the nice cosy depressed area of his head. Didn't bother any of us.
I think the reason I feel a trifle hinky about these tropical health hazard alerts is that these Costa Rican critters are unfamiliar to me and give one no warning that they have invaded personal territory. Yes I'm aware I embellish and exaggerate a little. The Travel MD reassured me by patting me on the back and saying "Just take the usual precautions and don't get bit" and chortled. Ha ha, not. Health care worker's sense of humor is just wrong.
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PS: For all you very alert and very smart health care workers that noted my writing regarding the hep vaccine. Yes, I know. And no I didn't. Refused. Long story. But points for paying attention.
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